从《论语》看孔子的交友之道

ON CONFUCIAN FRIEND-MAKING APPROACH FROM "THE ANALECTS OF CONFUCIUS"

孔子十分重视交友。孔子认为朋友间的相互切磋、相互择善可以增进彼此的学业,加强个人的道德修养。孔子乐于交友但不主张滥交友,提出了择友应该遵循的原则:有仁德,品德高尚;遵礼循义;中庸之道;益者三友,损者三友。在朋友之间如何相处的问题上,孔子提出如下几条法则:诚信为先;义之与比;宽以待人,恭敬有礼;适度中节。这些交友原则和方法对当今社会人际交往仍具有指导作用和借鉴价值。

＂The Analects of Confucius＂ makes it clear that Confucius attached great importance to making friends. Confucius believed in the mutual exchange and choice of merits between friends in order to enhance their studies and he also believed in strengthening personal moral cultivation. He was willing to make friends but he never stood for choosing frineds indiscriminately. Thus, Confucius put forward some principles of choosing friends, that is, being benevolent with noble moral character ;observing ceremony and justice; adopting the doctrine of the Golden Mean ; three kinds of good friends and three kinds of bad friends. When it comes to the problem of how to get along with friends, Confucius put forward such rules as follows ： integrity first; justice first; being generous towards others; being respectful and courteous to a moderate degree. These principles and methods of making friends are still guidance and used for reference in the interpersoanl exchange in the present society.