论婚姻中尊重与爱的关系——以康德、黑格尔与克尔凯郭尔为参照

On Respect and Love in Marriage: With Reference to Kant,Hegel and Kierkegaard

康德视婚姻为异性个体为终身占有彼此的身体而订立的契约。黑格尔反对康德以契约论理解婚姻,并主张婚姻是以爱为实质的伦理实体。黑格尔的批判有更深意蕴:婚姻和国家都不可还原为契约关系,因为它们是伦理生活。分歧源于两者对规范性的理解,即道德(Moralitt)与伦理(Sittlichkeit)之别。尽管看似"粗鲁",康德的婚姻-契约论的主旨是把性关系纳入法的范畴,以抵消在性关系中把他人之人格物化为手段的倾向。康德婚姻观的合理性在于突出"尊重"。在黑格尔那里,婚姻的本质是"具有权利性质的伦理的爱"(die rechtlich sittliche Liebe),并且强调爱是现代婚姻里"唯一重要的因素"。婚姻之爱的本质是通过两个个体的主观的精神的统一形成客观的伦理的纽带。黑格尔与康德的婚姻观之分歧源于如何理解爱的道德地位,以及爱的义务本身如何可能?作为伦理概念,婚姻的实体性在于建构家庭与生育这两个方面。对黑格尔来说,婚姻之爱并非指向与自我面对面的"这一个",而指向在共同体结构中的"某一个"。他人的个体性之失落是黑格尔婚姻观乃至伦理概念的的阿基里斯之踵。在婚姻观上,克尔凯郭尔与黑格尔构成了捍卫伦理生活的同盟,强调婚姻之爱是作为义务的爱。但是,他试图以内在目的论强调婚姻,婚姻并非任何外在目的的手段。婚姻之审美性在于这种无目的性,而它的本质在于避免使得他人降格为唯我论(solipsismus)的手段。这就违背了人是目的,从而是"非道德的"(usdeligt)。在这点上,克尔凯郭尔寻求康德与黑格尔之间的合题,美之于婚姻的重要性是:尊重他人为目的本身。

Kant takes marriage as a contract on the mutual possession of sexual organs between two individuals.Hegel opposes Kant to identify marriage as a contractual relationship,and argues that marriage is an ethical entity of love.There is a deeper implication in Hegel＇s criticism against Kant,in that neither marriage nor state shall be reduced to a contractual relationship because they are essentially ethical.The divergence lies in their opposite view on the nature of normativity,namely morality（Moralitt）versus ethical life（Sittlichkeit）.For Hegel,the nature of marriage is an ethical love in the form of law（dierechtlich sittliche Liebe）.He insists that love is the sole essential element in the modern marriage.The nature of marital love is an objective ethical bond which is shaped through the unity of subjective spirits in two individuals.The difference between Hegel and Kant on marriage is concentrated on the moral status of love and the possibility of love as duty.As an ethical concept,marriage is substantially consisted in two moments,namely family and procreation.For Hegel,marital love is not directed to＂this one＂face-to-face with me,but＂some one＂in a communal structure.The loss of an individual＇s individuality in relationship is the Achilles heel in Hegel＇s concept of marriage and even of the ethical life.On marriage,Kierkegaard is allied with Hegel in taking the nature of marital love as an ethical duty.However,he emphasizes by inner teleology that marriage itself is not a mean for any exterior ends.The aesthetic value of marriage is exactly in such endlessness.It is essentially aimed to avoid taking the other person in marriage as a means for solipsismus.Otherwise,it would be immoral.In this sense,Kierkegaard seeks for a sysnthesis between Kant and Hegel,and the nature of the aesthetics of marriage is in the respect of another human being as an end itself.