我真的是婚恋“困难户”吗?——大龄单身女博士婚恋偏好研究

“Is It Really Difficult for Me to Find a Spouse”:Research on marriage preferences of single female PhDs

女性“读博”是一种人生价值增值过程,但媒体热衷于将其受教育程度和在婚恋市场中的受欢迎程度描绘为倒U型,甚至将其婚恋问题渲染上悲情色彩。通过质性研究发现,女博士并非婚恋“困难户”,她们没有放弃婚姻,只是暂时延迟了婚姻。在建构择偶标准时,女博士秉持“锦上添花”的态度,追求亲密关系、经济独立、彼此尊重、自我实现等高质量的婚姻生活。原生家庭中亲子关系、家长对子女择偶期望和家庭社会经济地位,传统与新兴婚配文化并存,以及女博士独特的群体特质共同形塑了她们的择偶偏好。尽管女博士独特的婚恋标准非主观地延缓了其结婚年龄,但却拉伸了她们觅偶的时间长度,对推动晚婚、提升婚姻质量、促进男女协力承担“婚姻包袱”、实现婚配模式多元化发展具有深远意义。

The pursuit of females for a PhD degree is a process of value increment in their life,yet unfortunately,media more frequently describe the relationship between women’s education level and their popularity among the adults of the ages to be married at in an inverted U shape. Some even tint a tragic color to female PhDs leftover in pursuing love. Through qualitative research,the authors find that a female PhD is not so hard to enter into a romantic relationship. They have not given up marriage but delay it. When choosing a spouse,they are usually in an attitude of finding a better one. What they really want for their marriage includes affinity,independent income,mutual respect,the realization of their own values and quality life. The parent-child relationship in a family,the expectation of parents to the spouse of their daughter,the coexistence of traditional and present marriage cultures,and the unique group traits of the female PhDs have jointly shaped a special preference of them for spouse selection. Although the special preference of female PhDs for choosing a spouse is not the subjective reason that delays their wedding at a good age,yet it is really the reason that postpones their date of wedding,which is,anyway,of a far-reaching significance for the promotion of later marriage,enhancement of the quality of married life,improvement of the responsibility in sharing the “marriage burden” between the husband and wife and the realization of multiple marriage patterns.