如何译诗成诗——陈敬容译波德莱尔《忧郁病》的译文改动及启示

How to Translate Poetry into Poetry——Chen Jingrong’s Translation of Baudelaire’s “Melancholia”:Changes and Enlightenment

1957年7月,陈敬容在《译文》杂志发表的九首波德莱尔译诗对中国诗坛产生了极大影响。然而,当她将这九首译诗收入1984年出版的《图像与花朵》时,却对文字进行了大幅修改,改动最大的是《忧郁病》一诗。陈敬容1957年的译文以意译为主,使用自然贴切的口语,在基本与原诗对应的前提下适当加入了自己的改造,凭借着一个诗人的语言敏感实现了译诗成诗的目标。1984年的译文则与法语原文的文义对应更严谨了些,但语言风格上更为生涩。力求“符合原作”的自我要求和对译文的不自信,可能是主导了她此番修改的隐秘动机,但效果却不如人意。如何在“符合原作”的基础上,在现代汉语的语境下译诗成诗,而不是成为原作亦步亦趋的准确附庸,是陈敬容此次译文改动带给我们的启示。

In July 1957,Chen Jingrong published her translation work of nine poems by Baudelaire in the Translation magazine,which had a great influence on the Chinese poetic circle.However,when she included these nine translated poems in Images and Flowers published in 1984,she made significant changes to the text.The most significant change was made to the poem “Melancholia”.Chen Jingrong’s translation in 1957 was mainly based on free translation,using natural and appropriate colloquialisms,and appropriately adding her own transformation on the premise of basically corresponding to the original poem.With the virtue of a poet’s language sensitivity,she achieved the goal of translating poetry into poetry.Although her translation in 1984 corresponded more strictly to the source text in French,the language style was more obscure.Her self-requirement of“conforming to the original work”and the lack of self-confidence in her translation might be the hidden motives that dominated her revision,but the effect was unsatisfactory.How to translate poetry into poetry in the context of modern Chinese on the basis of“conforming to the original work”,rather than becoming an accurate appendage of the original,is the inspiration brought by Chen Jingrong’s changes made to her translation.